Does every family have that one strong person? The one who holds it together when everyone else is falling apart when something bad or unexpected happens? Ryan is definitely that person for us. He’ll tell you, he gets it from his daddy.
Ryan’s a born leader, a realist, matter of fact, it is what it is, that’s how life goes type of guy. I think every family needs someone like that. Someone grounded, who brings you back when you are freaking out and emotionally unstable.
A lot has been going on in our lives for the past several months. Ryan’s 6 month project at work received delay, after delay, and by the time everything started coming together it turned into a 6 month contract that has to be completed in 3 months. He has been unwavering through it all.
The whole house situation and losing our dream home to another offer. I cried like a baby. He was surprised that I cried. But I’m emotional and anxious and my mind races. I’m worried we won’t find another one, and where are we going to live, and the cost of moving and storage and a bunch of other crazy shit. Not Ryan. He was disappointed, but just said, “It’s okay, we’ll find something else, another house will come along.”
And on top of everything, the worst of all is his father is losing his battle with cancer. When bad news comes, I’m in tears, relatives are in tears, devastated, inconsolable. Not Ryan. He holds it together, time after time. And not in a bad way. It’s not that he isn’t sad, or heartbroken, he’s just emotionally strong.
Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments. I’ve seen my husband cry. We’ve cried together. I know he’s cried alone, or when he’s with someone else, like his brother for example. Some people are just built that way. It’s not because he’s a man, I’m sure there are many women out there who are the strong ones. But he’s ours. He can compartmentalize his thoughts and feelings and still gets up on time for work everyday before dawn, commutes an hour one-way, and leads his team and our family successfully.
I’m grateful for him everyday and appreciative of this strength and ability to keep it together. Can you just imagine families who don’t have a strong one?! My God, it has to be crazy when some shit goes down.
Growing up it was my father. Papi. He’s a retired U.S. Army Veteran and was a Special Forces Green Beret. Ryan reminds me a lot of him in many ways. They always say, girls grow up to marry men like their dads. They may not even realize it. However, I know this to not always be true… but for many I’m sure it is. He’s street smart, a born protector, dependable, a man’s man. I know he’s seen and done things some people could never even imagine… but I’ve never seen it affect him. He is just strong.
The strong ones have big hearts. They’re so big because they have a piece of so many of their loved one’s hearts within theirs. Papi has a big piece of my heart, my mother’s, my brother’s, his sibling’s. Ryan is the same. His children and family adore him and many look up to him. Hell, even I look up to him. He makes me proud to be his wife.
But remember this… the strong ones need comfort and support too. Here’s my advice, and only because I heard it from the source; when you don’t know what to say or do, or are fearful of saying the wrong thing or just something that won’t be helpful… just ask how they are doing. Ask if they are okay. When they want to talk, listen.
And most importantly, when the time comes (because it will), when it’s their turn to break down and fall apart…just be there. Hold them and love them through it, just as they have always done for everyone else.
God Bless The Strong Ones.
